MerDer my version!
by Sav.04
Summary: This is the Meredith and Derek story my way. It will still be a hell of a lot to handle with many ups and downs but in my version the story will be little different!
1. Chapter 1: Breaking Free

Hi this is my first piece and I love this concept. Meredith and Derek are my favorite Grey's Anatomy characters and I am just happy that I can write about them! I hope you guys enjoy and also I am not the best with grammar and spelling so I apologize in advance also I am not the best writer so I apologize about that as well.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Grey's Anatomy character those rights belong to Shonda Rhims.

* * *

 **Chapter One: Breaking Free**

It was too late Addison thought as she saw him with her. He had moved on. Derek found true love with her. She wanted to be angry that he had chosen her but deep down Addison new that Derek wanted Meredith more than her. So that's when she decided it was time. Time to end Addison and Derek, so that Derek could move on and be with the woman that he truly loved. Who she knew he would spend the rest of his life with. Addison pulled out the divorce papers that she had been carrying around for weeks now. As she walked up to Derek who was leaning on the nurses station reading a chart. Tears welling up in her eyes. Derek turned to look at her confused and annoyed witch he had looked like a lot lately. Then realizing she was about to start crying his face turned a little more sympathetic.

''Addison whats wrong?'' Derek said confused and worried.

''Can we talk somewhere privet?'' She said on the verge of tears.

''Of course'' Derek said looking a little more worried.

Even though Derek loved Meredith he will always love Addison. Maybe not in a romantic way but she was the love of his life an one point and that dose not just go away. Even if she had cheated oh him with his best friend. Derek had a soft spot for Addison because besides Mark she had been his best friend since med school and he genuinely wanted to make things work with her but he was miserable thinking that he could be with Meredith.

As they found their way into an on call room tears started rolling down Addison's face. As she did not want to end her marriage but new that Derek was in love with Meredith. So she made the first move. Just like she did when her and Derek first became a couple. Except this was way more painful than that.

''Ok what's wrong Addison your scaring me?!''

''Nothing I just... I don't want to do this Derek but I know you want to... so here." as she handed Derek the divorce papers.

"Addison divorce papers... what makes you think I want a divorce? Were trying to make things work?" Derek said confused and mad that she would think that she would want to end things.

"Derek I see the way you look at her... at Meredith. Derek you never looked at me that way, like you would die if you weren't with me. I know we both wanted to make this work but who are we fooling, Derek you love Meredith, and I can't keep you from her. No matter how badly I want you to choose me over her. I can't keep you from the woman you truly love. I want you too be happy and if that's not with me than I have to do what I can to make you happy... even if that means let you go. Even if I don't want to, and trust me I don't."

"Addison I never wanted to hurt you or us. I just..." Derek holding the divorce papers looking at Addison who had tears streaked down her face. " I do love you Addison... we just..." Derek was at a loss for words.

"Its ok I know you lover her Derek." It hurt Addison to say that but it was true she would not be doing this if she didn't know it was true.

Derek looked at Addison deep in thought " I love you and I love her... I think... that things would be different if you and Mark would have never happened... but in the end... I do think that eventually you and me would have driven each other insane, because Addison we were different people when we met... and I will never regret what we had... and I will always love you. But if you had not slept with Mark I would have never met Meredith so in a very strange, twisted way I am glad that you slept with Mark, because it not only showed me that we should go our separate ways but it led me to Meredith."

" I will sign the papers if you sign" Addison said trying not to think about what Derek just said. Derek was so good at saying the right thing at the right time to make someone understand but what Derek said was just going to make Addison cry, and she wanted him to sign and leave so she could cry in peace.

"Ok" Derek said thinking what he was just about to do. Derek wanted to end things with Addison, he wanted to end things with her when she first gave him the divorce papers. But Derek is the kind of guy who dose not give up without a fight. He just was hoping that Meredith would understand that he only stayed with Addison to say he tried.

Derek pulled out a pen from his lab coat and signed the papers. Addison trying to hold back tears, signed the papers right after him.

She could not hold back any more, Addison started balling. Derek was just looking at Addison with a dazed look on his face thinking about Meredith, what if she didn't want him back. What if he hurt her to bad. Then he noticed Addison crying uncontrollably.

"Can I give you a hug" Derek asked seeing as Addison could use one.

Addison shaking her head yes while crying, as Derek wrapped his arms around her "I'm sorry" Derek said with tears in his eyes.

"Me to" Addison said through the sobs.

This is the last time Derek will hug me like this she thought as he kissed her on the forehead and said once again he was sorry. Then Derek walked out of the on call room, closing the door and stopping to take a breath then walked down the hall never looking back.

* * *

I hope you guys like the first chapter, it was a little short, and I know it only had Addison and Derek but my main focus is on Meredith and Derek I just wanted to show the whole thing with Addison and Derek splitting up so you guys could see how it is i my version. Also in my version Meredith is a little more vulnerable because I like the aspect of Meredith being vulnerable and Derek being the one she goes to.

And for the record my version might not have much of the other characters but I will include them as needed for the story. So thanks again for reading! And I would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions!


	2. Chapter 2: Concern

Chapter Two: Concern

Two hours after Derek signed the divorce papers he got word that Addison was resigning. Derek knew it was because of him. Even though Derek was happy that he might be able to get Meredith back, it still hurt him to see how much pain he was causing Addison.

* * *

"Meredith did you here?" Cristina said as she walked into the locker room.

Meredith was putting on clean scrubs as one of her patients had just proceeded to throw up on her moments ago in the ER. "Here what?" She said expecting the news to be about George or Callie as their relationship had not been going so well lately.

"Addison is resigning! Her last day is tomorrow" Cristina blurted out.

Meredith was stunned she was not expecting that and she had so many thoughts running through her head. Including Derek wanting to get back together with her.

"You Ok Mer?" Cristina asked as Meredith was just looking straight ahead with a concerned look on her face.

"Wheres Derek?" She blurted out in a panic as she stood up "wheres Derek!?"

"I don't know I don't know" Cristina said with a defensive tone.

"I need to find him!" Meredith said frantically pulling out her phone getting ready to page Derek.

"I don't think that''s such a good idea" Christina said trying to keep Meredith from frantically running through the hospital looking for him.

"Why Not" Meredith said frustrated, all she wanted to do was make sure Derek was all right.

"Because Mer what if they got divorced?! He might be wanting some space seeing as Addison is leaving and probably going back to New York.

Meredith new Christina was right, Derek needed his space and plus he left her for Addison she the fact that she wanted to find him so bad was a bad sign. She is trying to get past Derek, but that obviously was not working.

"Your right Cristina I will find hi later plus ere going to be late for rounds."

Meredith and Christina walked out of the locker room to go find Bailey for rounds.

* * *

Derek had asked Richard for the day off because he was not feeling the best. All Derek could think about was that moment when he signed the papers and how he finally could be with Meredith, but he kept thinking what if she doesn't want me. What if she has given up on us. Derek was driving himself crazy and that's why he wasn't feeling well. Derek was in the attending lounge when Burke walked in.

"You going home?" Burke asked

"Yeah... not feeling too good"

"Oh" Burke said looking at his shoes knowing exactly why Derek wasn't feeling good because the news had already spread that Addison and Derek got a divorce.

"Hey... do you know where Addison went?" Derek asked Burke

"No I haven't seen her all day." Burke said trying not to get into what they were going through. He was already going to hear about it later with Christina.

"Ok... Um do you think you could just make sure she's ok if you see her later."

"Of course." Burke and Derek did not have the best relationship but their girlfriends are the twisted sisters so they at least have to get along and plus its Addison and Burke liked Addison.

"Thanks." Derek said knowing everyone was going to judge him including Burke.

Derek grabbed his bag so that he could leave.

"Derek... I know why you did what you did and honestly... I would have never been able to do what you did. You get props for that."

That was the nicest thing Burke had ever said to him. Derek just smiled and walked out of the attendings lounge.

* * *

On Derek's way back to the trailer he stopped at the docks and sat on the bench that him and Meredith had sat on when they went on their second date. He loved the docks, and how he could just sit there and watch the ferry boats all day. But right now Derek felt like he was going to throw up. Derek was worried that he and lost Meredith forever because he had picked Addison instead of her. He hoped that she would forgive him and get back together with him so that they could be happy together. But Meredith was a hard person to convince, even for Derek.

* * *

During rounds all Meredith could think about was Derek, and how she wanted to see his piercing blue eyes look deep into hers, and how she wanted to hear his voice say her name, and tell her how much he loved her, and touch his hair, his perfect hair, oh how she just wanted to run her hands through it. She wanted Derek to be hers no matter how much she denied it. She wanted to wake up next to him everyday.

"Meredith? Meredith?!" Christina shouted

"Did you get that?"

"Get what?"

"Your on Dr. Burkes service today."

"Oh... ok. Who's on Dereks?"

" No one I think he went home sick." Christina said worried meredith would freak out again.

Meredith's expression was blank.

"Mer I'm sure he just wasn't feeling well so he went home, it's not big deal." Christina said trying to get Meredith to stop worrying.

"Yeah you'r probably right... he probably just wasn't feeling well."

"Mer..." But Christina was cut off.

"I got to go ind ."

As Mer rushed off to find Dr. Burke christina just hoped she was not looking for Derek.

* * *

"Mer... Mer are you ok?"

Meredith was in a supply closet crying when Alex walked in and saw her.

"Mer...?"

"I'm fine... I just... it is so hard!"

"What's so hard?" Alex asked confused.

"Derek... he went home sick today, after I heard that Addison is resigning. Ever since I heard that he went home, I can't stop... I can't stop thinking about him! I don't know if he's ok, or if him and Addison got a divorce. I mean why... I can't... I just... I just want to know if he loves me! Meredith was broken.

Derek had broken her, she used to not care about boys, but know she can't get her mind off of one. Derek was the... she finally knew it for the first time, Derek was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. But he was married and he lied to her, and then he picked his wife. So the man she wanted was taken. But he may or may not have gotten a divorce because of her. What do you do about that. Well you go cry in a supply closet.

"Meredith he loves you. We all see it. The way he looks at you... he loves you, he loves you so much that trying to be with his wife almost killed him. He has been walking around this place for week acting like an ass for no reason. His wife came back he should be happy but he wasn't because he loves you."

Meredith sniffled and smiled at Alex. Alex was an ass so why was he trying to cheer her up? He cares that's why.

"Thanks"

"Ok now let's get out of here Burke is probably wondering where the hell you are."

Then they both stood up and walked out of the supply closet.

* * *

After Meredith's shift was over she drove back to the house and was sitting in her room eating coffee ice cream thinking about Derek. Not about how he left Addison but how he looked. How his hair was perfect, with the gel that he put in it, and his eyes how they were piercing blue and could make her feel safe with one look, and his lips, how they were so soft and how they made her feel so warm, and his arms, how when he wrapped her in the the world seemed to fade away and it was just the two of them. As she was fantasizing about Derek there was a knock at the door to her room.

"Come in!" she yelled hoping it was Serek but it wasn't it was George with hot chocolate.

George handed her a cup and then sat down on the edge of her bed.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Mer whenever you say you're fine you're really not so what's going on?"

Meredith hesitated wondering if she should tell George, but he was just trying to help so she told him what was going on.

"If I tell you you have to promise that you won't tell anyone not even Izzie." Meredith said in a stern tone not wanting anyone to know that she wanted Derke back, and that she is glad that they got divorced.

"I promise" said George said.

"Ok. Meredith took a deep breath. I want Derek, I can't stop thinking about him. He... Hes like a virus that has attached itself to me and won't go away. Ever since I found out they got a divorce and Addison is resigning he has been in my head. All day to day all I wanted to do was kiss him, and run my hands through is hair. I want to see him and I want him to be with me and make sure he never leaves me again. I don't want him to leave me I want him and only him. Meredith realizing what she just said broke out into a mixture of laughter and crying, but mostly crying. And all George could do was hug her and tell her everything was going to be all right, that Derek loved her and that he would come back, and that she would see him at the hospital tomorrow. Or so he thought.

* * *

Thanks for reading! I hope you guys liked chapter two, I know I just put up chapter one but I love this story and I want to keep writing so chapter three might be up soon, I would love reviews as this is my first story ever, and I want to know what you guys are thinking! But thanks for reading and I hope you like it so far! :)


	3. Chapter 3: Love in all the Darkness

**Chapter 3: Love in all the Darkness**

3am there's a knock at the door and everyone is asleep except Meredith. She heard the knock and she went down stairs to find Derek standing outside soaked as it was raining. She quickly opened the door and told him to come in but he didn't he just wanted to say something.

"Meredith I screwed up... I screwed up big time picking Addison, I didn't want to hurt you but I know I did. Today, well I guess now yesterday, you probably heard Addison is resigning and well... we got divorced. I know I should have signed the papers the first time, but I had to try to make things right with her so I could end things on a good note. But picking her over you was... stupid, I love you Meredith, and I know I don't deserve you and I have hurt you in ways I can't begin to apologise for, and I understand if you don't want to be with me. But I want to be with you and I can't live without you! I love you, I love you so much it hurts, not being with you hurts and I can't stop thinking about you, so please give me a second chance! So I can prove how much I love you!"

Meredith just stood there in the doorway looking at Derek, she did not expect Derek to show up let alone at 3am. She didn't know what to say.

"Derek I love you too." Derek smiled from ear to ear." But you hurt me." Just like that his smile was gone." Derke you chose Addison and... and I don't know if I can trust you, you broke me... so for now we just need to take some space, and give it time." Derek understood, and he also expected that but it still hurt him, becuse he saw how much pain Meredith was in and he just wanted to wrap her up in a big hug, but he didn't.

"Ok I understand." Derek said as he then turned around and walked back to his car.

* * *

Meredith closed the door and started to sob. Izzie suddenly woke up to the sound of Meredith hyperventilating. She rushed downstairs to see Meredith who had her head in her hands and was sitting on the ground in front of the door, crying and hyperventilating rocking back and forth.

"Mer! Mer! what happened!" Izzie said scared that her friend would pass out from not getting enough air.

Through the wheezing Meredith said "get George."

"GEORGE!" Izzie yelled as she tried to calm Meredith down and get her to breathe normally.

George flew down the stairs and slid right next to Mer putting a hand on her back.

"Izzie go get a paper bag from the kitchen" George said. trying to get Meredith to calm down.

Izzie came back a few moments later with a paper bag and handed it to Meredith.

"Mer what happened?" Izzie asked again wanting to know why she was sitting on the ground crying at 3am.

As Meredith started to calm down she said "secret" and looked at George. George looked at Izzie and asked if she could give them a minute.

"Why... are you guys hiding something from me?!"

"No but Mer told me something earlier and... can we just have a minute!" George said frustrated.

"Fine!" Izzie scoffed "But I'm going to bed then, and I want to hear everything in the morning!"

"That's fine." George said "I got it from here."

Meredith looked at him as she began to breath normally now she told George what happened.

"Derek came by and told me he loved me and that he divorced Addison and that's why she's leaving, and that he wants to be with me and all I said was I needed more time becuse he hurt me the last time he said he was leaving Addison. All day all I wanted to do was to hug him and tell him that I love him and that I want him to be mine and only mine. That I want to wake up next to him every morning and his McDreamy smile. But all I could say was I need more time becuse he hurt me... what have I done!"

George looked shocked "Mer I think you should take some time, I mean he hurt you really bad with Addison who's to say he won't do it again. I think you said the right thing and eventually you two will be together again.

Meredith knew George was right and she loved him for it. Her head was just so clouded by Derek that she was second guessing the right decision.

"Now lets get you back to bed we have early round in the morning." George said with a yan.

"Geroge.." Meredith said looking at him with a tired smile, her eyes still a bit red from crying.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

George smiled "your welcome."

* * *

9pm: Addison had spent the day avoiding Derek... and the nurses because even though they were on her side they were annoying. Her shift just ended and she was alone. She had just checked into her hotel room as she wanted a place to sleep. Addison did not like being alone. In fact she hated it, she liked it much better when their was someone she could boss around. But she was alone. But not for long or so she hoped.

3pm: that afternoon.

"Hello?"

"Mark... It's me Addison." she said with a sniffle

"Addison... what's wrong is everything Ok?"

"Me and Derek got divorced today."

There was a pause on the phone before Addison herd Mark shuffling something on the other end of the line.

"Mark what are you doing?"

"I'm packing a bag." He said not even hesitating.

"Wait why?" Addison said hoping he was coming to Seattle to see her.

"I'm coming to Seattle." He said knowing that would make Addison happy.

But Addison started to cry.

"Addie what's wrong?"

"Me and Derek... got divorced." It hadn't really sunk in until she told Mark.

"Hey it's ok, I'm gonna be on the next flight out and I will be their as soon as possible."

"Ok" Addison said trying to stop crying.

"Mark?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"I love you Addison... Ok I gotta go I'm on my way to the airport I should be their in 6 hours Ok."

"Ok I will see you then... and Mark... I love you too.

9:30pm: There was a knock at Addisons hotel room door. It was Mark.

" Hey stranger." Mark said as Addison opened the door.

But Addison didn't talk she just started crying. Mark shut the door and walked Addison over to the bed and held her while she cried. Mark knew why Addison was crying. Derek and Addison had been married eleven years and she cheated on Derek with Mark that's how this whole thing started. Addison blamed herself that's why she was crying. When Addison finally calmed down she just looked at Mark.

"I told Richard I was resigning, and that tomorrow is my last day."

"Well I was going to tell him to give me surgical privileges so that I could stay."

"But.." Addison was cut off.

"I think you... we should stay in Seattle for at least a little bit. I mean this could be a good thing right?"

"You want to make things right with Derek don't you?"

"Yeah it would be nice having my best friend back but I'm here for you."

"Ok well I guess I will call Richard and tell him I'm staying then."

"Ok" Mark said thinking about Derek, he hadn't talked to him since that night, the night he caught them. He did not know what he was going to say when he sees him again. He had ruined Addison and Derek even more that they had. He just hoped that Derek would forgive him and he could have his best friend back.

* * *

Thanks for reading I hope you liked it. I promise the next chapter will be longer, and it might be up today, I don't know we'll see. But thanks for reading and like always review and let me know what you thought, and if you have any suggestions that's always good to. Thanks again! :)


	4. Chapter 4: Distractions

**Chapter 4: Distractions**

Meredith did not want to get up at the sound of her alarm, they had early rounds and so they were leaving at 4:30am. Meredith hated early rounds especially after getting no sleep. But she got up anyways, she went down stairs after she showered to see Alex, Izzie, George, and Christina all standing in the kitchen. It looked like they had been talking about her seeing as how their conversation stopped when she entered.

"Hey?" Meredith said confused to see everyone in the kitchen especially christina because she did not even live in the house. But they were carpooling to the hospital, they always do when they have early rounds.

"I'm going to kill McAss!"Christina shouted

" Ok so that's what this is about Derek showing up here last night."

"Yeah why else would I be here at 4 in the morning."

"I don't know maybe you wanted to visit." Meredith said sarcastically.

"George told us what he said last night." Alex said looking into Meredith eyes, they looked so empty, he could tell she did not want to talk about what happend.

"We just need to know one thing and then he will be out of the conversation the rest of the day." Alex said trying to be supportive.

" What do you want to know?" Meredith said holding back the tears about what happened last night.

"Do we love McDreamy or do we hate him?" Izzie blurted out.

"I.." Meredith didn't know she just looked at George.

"I think we try to avoid him today and try to help Mer avoid him so nothing stupid happens, that would make things worse." George said trying to say what he thought Meredith should have said.

"Alright then." Christina said "but I'm still going to kill him!"

" Ok let's go we're going to be late." Meredith said trying to change the subject.

Mer started to walk out of the kitchen

"Wait Mer can I talk to you about something?" Izzie said trying not to smile to big.

"Yes." Meredith said hoping it wasn't going to be about how she told George what happened and not her last night.

" I have something to ask you."

"Ok.?"

" I think we should get a dog!"

"That wasn't a question."

"Ok fine can we get a dog!" Izzie said hoping she would say yes.

Meredith didn't even hesitate "sure" she thought a dog would be a good thing to get her mind off of Derek. So she said yes why not.

"Yay! Ok but let's not tell George and Alex then surprise them!

"Ok... we're going to be late."

"Right ok let's go."

As they walked out of the kitchen Meredith had a smile on her face, she had not smiled in what felt like forever. But that quickly went away when they got to the hospital.

* * *

Karev, your with Robins, Yang you're with Burek, O'malley you're with me, Stevens you're with Torres, and Grey Dr. Shepherd has requested your medical skills today... don't just stand there get to work! Bailey said after rounds.

Everyone looked at Meredith knowing the last person she wanted to spend the day with was McAss, but she had to.

"Just don't think about him as McDreamy think about him as Dr. Shepherd." Christina said trying to calm Meredith down so she would not do something stupid with Derek.

"Ok" Meredith said taking a deep breath.

Then Meredith's pager went off.

"Its Dere... Dr. Shepherd I have to go."

"Don't do something stupid!" Christina yelled as Meredith walked down the hallway.

* * *

"You paged me to a stairwell!?"

"I needed to talk to you before we started working."

"Derek I told you I need more time..." Meredith started to say as she was holding back tears, she could not do this today, but she was cut off by Derek.

"I know... I know... I just wanted to tell you that I will wait for you, so take all the time you need."

Their was a pause before Meredith finally said something to break Derek's gaze.

"Ok so can we get out of here now?"

"Yeah... yeah let's go we have work to do." Derek said he wanted Meredith back, sooooooooo bad! It was so hard for him not to kiss her just then but he didn't, he was respecting her wishes and that's all he could do.

* * *

Later that day:

"Mark sloan! First Addison and now Mark!"

"Derek he's the number one plastic surgeon in the county and he wanted to be transferred here. Now if you have a problem... Richard was cut off by Derek again.

" Mark Sloan slept with my wife who is now my ex wife, so yes I have a problem!"

"Derek we was your best friend." Richard said trying to get him to calm down.

"Yeah key work their WAS!" but before Derek could leave Richard's office Richard had something else to say.

"Derek."

" What!?"

"Addison is staying, she called me last night and said she want to make things work here and that she wants to stay."

"Of course she's staying Marks here!" Then Derek stormed out of the chief's office.

Derek did not want to deal with Mark especially not now after Addison and him were just divorced. He was tired of all the drama between the three of them, and did not want to deal with it anymore, and certainly did not want to bring Meredith into it.

* * *

After work Meredith and Izzie put their plan in action.

"Where are we going?" George kept asking wondering why they were going the opposite direction of the house. Alex was not with them becuse he was on call so he was back at the hospital, but they could still do their plan on George.

"Trust me you will like it now shut up." Izzie kept saying.

An hour later.

"What should we name him." Izzie said. They had walked right into the shelter and said we would like to look at dogs, and the first dog Meredith saw was hers she felt it. No other dog in the world was hers this was her dog.

"We should name him doc." Meredith said as doc sat in her lap. Yes when they got him she told Izzie to drive, and took him and let him sit on her lap the whole way home.

"Yes." Izzie said excited

"I liked Rover." George said.

"Of course you did!" Meredith said laughing

The rest of the way home Meredith just sat and looked at Doc, she was happy, she had a dog.

* * *

"Guess what Christina?"

"What? Oh let me guess you slept with McDreamy?!"

Meredith had called Christina to tell her that she got a dog and she was mad that Christina would think she slept with Derek.

"NO!.. I got a dog!"

"Oh... what did you name it?"

"Doc."

"Ha so were doctors and you name you dog doc... classic!"

" Hey its a good name."

"If I got a dog, which I won't, but if I did I would name it... Mrs. Rodriguez."

"Um.. Ok..." Meredith was so confused "Why Mrs. Rodriguez?"

"I don't know?"

" Ok then."

"Hey isn't Doc one of the Seven Dwarfs?!"

"Ok bye." Meredith said annoyed that she was making fun of his name and she hung up the phone. Then went back to petting Doc on her bed.

* * *

The next morning Meredith was the last one up and she was running late. George and Izzie had left before her. Mer was feeding Doc and trying to get ready when there was a knock at the door. She really did not have time to answer but she did. It was a man she had never seen before. A handsome man.

"Hi" the man said as Meredith opened the door.

"Hi" Meredith said confused

" I'm Finn and I was was Sids vet at the animal shelter, sorry to bother you but."

"Sid? Oh you mean Doc." Meredith said figuring out it was the dog who he was talking about.

" Yeah, well I just wanted to come by and make sure he was settled in Ok because as you probably already know he had a heart condition, and I just wanted to come by and make sure he was doing Ok." The whole time Finn was standing there he wanted to ask Meredith out. She was so beautiful and he was hoping she was single.

"Thanks yeah he is doing fine."

"Ok great.. here's my card incase you need anything."

"Thank you." Meredith said with a smile

Their was a pause and then Finn said something that kinda caught Meredith off guard.

" I know this is probably a no but are you single?" Finn asked

Meredith did not know what to say.

"Yes" she blurted out awkwardly.

" Hey me too" Finn said with a smile. "Well do you want to go on a date with me. I heard their was a new restaurant that opened downtown and I want to go but it would be awkward if I went by myself?"

"Um... I don't" Meredith said stuttering.

"I understand well just give me a call if... Doc needs anything and I will..."he was cut off.

"Yes I will go out with you" Meredith said shocking herself.

"Ok great... I will pick you up at 8 here tomorrow."

"Ok sounds good." Meredith said thinking about Derek.

This was good. This was a good thing going out with someone other than Derek to get her mind off him. She thought as she closed the door and realized how late she was.

* * *

"So I'm on Sloan's service today" Meredith said as she walked down the hallway talking to Christina.

"Wait is that the guy who slept with Addison" Christina said wondering becuse the name sounded familiar.

"Yep, He is also Derke best friend."

"Ex best friend" Christina said

"Yeah I guess" Meredith said with a grin, seeing that Derek had an Ex best friend, and Ex girlfriend and an Ex wife all working in the same place as him was funny to Meredith for some reason.

Meredith still had not told Christina about Finn but thought she would wait till after their date because what if she didn't like him. There were just too many variables so she didn't tell Christina.

* * *

Beep Beep... Beep Beep... Beep Beep...

Meredith was being paged to the ER by Dr. Sloan. Oh this ought to be good she thought as she made her way to the ER. When she got there she immediately found Dr. Sloan. He was with a girl who liked to be about the age of six, and she had a deep facial lack.

"Dr. Sloan." Meredith said walking up to him while he was examining the patient.

"Ah Dr. Grey, glad you could make it." He said with a smirk. "This is Lilly she is seven and fell off her scooter, she needs 5 stitches on her forehead and you're going to do them... Perfectly or your off my service.

"Yes sir." Meredith said thinking that was a little harsh.

After about 10 minutes of Meredith doing the stitches, Dr. Sloan was semi impressed.

"Not bad for an intern, but not perfect. This little girl is 7 do you want her to grow up looking in the mirror everyday and seeing a scar becuse the intern who did her stitches did not do them perfectly, or do you want her to not have to answer the question what happened to your face every time one of her classmates asked her, becuse they won't ask if the stitches are done perfectly."

"The second one." Meredith said quickly in response to Dr. Sloan's shouting.

"Good." Dr. Sloan said more calm but still assertive. " I will give you one more shot today Dr. Grey but if you mess it up then you are doing scutt the rest of the week got it."

"Yes sir." Meredith hated Mark he was an ass.

"Ok, now go do my post ops and I will see you in an hour."

As Meredith turned around to go do Dr. Sloan's post ops she noticed Derek who had stopped his neuro exam and was staring directly at Mark as if he was going to kill him. Meredith concerned, walked away and Derek followed her with his eyes. then Meredith shot him a look like stop staring, get back to your neuro exam and stay out of it. As he turned back to his patients he was still furious.

That was the first time Derek had seen Mark since that night and he wanted to kill Mark not for what he did that night but for how he talked to Meredith. That was not necessary in that situation, and he was proud of Meredith for the way she handed that becuse he was pissed.

* * *

Thanks for reading this chapter is longer so yay! It's leading up to something and I'm excited to write it. I hope you guys liked it and as always review so I know how I'm doing, I also want to here if you have any suggestions I'm open to them. Also I might be posting chapter 5 tonight if I have time so get excited! Thanks again for reading! :)


	5. Chapter 5: Faults

**Chapter 5: Faults**

"How's the patient in 206?" Mark asked walking up to the nurses station where Meredith was standing.

But before Meredith could get a word out Dr. Sloan pager went off.

"Oh well looks like I will have to check you out later" said Mark.

"Excuse me?" Meredith said wondering if he was serious.

"What dirty mistress number 2 does not want to hook up with dirty mistress number 1?" Mark said grinning

"First of all what makes you think I'm a dirty mistress, and second of all what makes you think I'm the second one?" Meredith said confused with a playful smile on her face.

"Well you slept with Derek while he was still married."

"Yeah well you slept with Addison before I slept with Derek!" Meredith said not playing around anymore.

"Hints why I'm number one." Mark said smiling

"Yeah well for the record Derek didn't tell me he was married, and you clearly knew they were." Meredith said defending herself.

"Well you see.." Before Mark could say another word Derek came up and punched Mark right in the jaw.

"Ok man what was that for?!" Mark said holding the side of his face

"Well lets see, you stole my wife, and now you flirting with Meredith, you have a problem that's what that was for, to knock some sense into you!"

* * *

They were in the middle of the cat walk, in the center of the hospital punching each other back and forth, and no one was stopping them. Derek would hit Mark and knock him down and then Mark would hit Derek and knock him down. They were having an all out fist fight in the middle of the hospital, and they weren't saying anything until their was a pause and Mark started to talk.

" I might have a problem but at least I don't rip people's hearts out"

"What's that supposed to mean, two months ago you were my best friend and then you ripped my heart out by sleeping with my wife!?"

"I'm not talking about me and Addison I'm talking about what you did!"

"Then please enlighten me!"

"If you had chosen Meredith first like you wanted to instead of waiting two months to give Addison hope that your marriage might actually be saved, only to crush her heart and then not get back together with Meredith the person who caused all this, this fight would not be happening right now would it!" Mark screamed.

Derek was even more furious, this was not about Meredith, she did not cause all of this Mark did. The only good thing that came out of this whole thing was Derek meeting Meredith. Tears started rolling down Derek's face, silent tears, not because of the pain but because he loved Meredith and Mark... well he was going to kill Mark. The pause lasted a little while longer, with Derek giving Mark the death stare, and even more people started to gather, but no one daring to get in between them.

Derek just stood their, looking at Mark tired, and with tears in his eyes.

"What it hurts to much so you gotta cry about it!" Mark said looking at Derek and seeing the tears on his face.

"This is not Meredith's fault... this is your fault... and the only reason I am not going to kill you for saying what you just said is... I don't want Addison to not have someone. You are not my friend, you were obviously never a good friend, and you will never be my friend again!"

Mark was hurt, he wanted his best friend back, but he may have just lost him forever.

"Derek I..."

Mark was interrupted by Derek punching him in the jaw again. "Don't say my name! Never talk to me again!" Derek said repeatedly punching Mark. When Mark finally got the upper hand his face was all bloody and Derek was exhausted. Mark pined Derek to the ground and then just kept hitting him, Derek lying on the cold ground of the hospital hoping Meredith wasn't watching. The life was being punched out of Derek, but Meredith was watching she saw whole thing. When finally Alex, Burke, Callie and George all came around the corner as they had all been working on a patient and had just gotten out of surgery. The four of them walked up to Meredith.

"Whats going on?" Callie said wanting to know why their was a big crowd.

"Derek... Mark... I." Meredith was just standing there watching and could not get a word out.

Alex turned to see what was going on and saw Derek and Mark "Ok...Ok just wait here... Help me" Alex said as he ran over to the two guys with Burke and George pulling Mark off of Derek, just as Mark was about to finish Derek off. Derek was just laying on the ground of the catwalk in a pool of blood around his face. He was pale and out of breath.

He had multiple face lacks, probably a concussion, his hands were torn up, and his nose was bleeding a lot. Alex and Callie helped him to his feet and walked him into an exam room. Meredith was following them in shock of what she just witnessed. Derek's was hurt pretty bad and she could tell becuse Alex and Callie practically had to force him to take a step. Burke and George had taken Mark who was less tired and less beat up to an exam room on the other side of the hospital, and Addison was called becuse that was the one person who Mark would let touch him. When Callie and Alex got Derek onto the exam table Meredith told Alex she could take it from here and help Derek clean up. Callie just looked at Derek and then at Meredith and said I'm going to go check on Mark, and walked out. Alex wanted to help, and not leave them alone but Meredith's eyes said it all she wanted to help him, because she felt she had caused this so Alex left without a fight.

Derek's eyes were closed because he knew if he opened them he would start crying, his face hurt a lot but what Mark said about Meredith being the cause of all this hurt him even more. Meredith was his everything and he was grateful that she had told Alex that she could take care of him. He did not want anyone to see him like this especially Meredith but he knew she would take care of him, he just hoped she was Ok.

"Are you Ok?" Derek said with a weak voice, opening his eyes slightly.

"I should be asking you that." Meredith said softly getting bandages ready for his hands. She didn't notice that he had opened his eyes slightly until she turned around. She looked into his deep blue eyes, they showed the sadness in him and his confident ego gone. She started to cry when everything sank in.

"Mer... I'm Ok... really..." Derek wincing from the pain of trying to sit up, he wanted to show Meredith that he was Ok and that it was nothing but he was hurt... bad.

"I did this... I caused all of this..." Meredith said looking into Derek's eyes just hoping that he was Ok. He was covered in blood. Meredith thought she had done all of this and it hurt Derek so so much to think that this was Meredith fault, because it wasn't.

"Meredith... this is... not your fault... it will... always be mine... I brought you... into this mess." Derek said exhausted, he had taken a huge beating and wanted to go home. Meredith just looked at him with tears in her eyes. She loved him but she was so afraid he would hurt her again that she saw past the connection they had. She knew things would be different from now on, and she knew that she had to get Derek back in time.

"Ok... now let's get you cleaned up."Meredith said grabbing his hand and gently wiping the blood off his knuckles. Derek just sat there looking at Meredith as she took care of him watching her every move never taking his eyes off of her.

"Meredith..." Derek said hoping she would look up at him.

"Yes?" she said looking up into Derek's eyes.

"Are you happy?" Derek said not knowing what he wanted the answer to be. He wanted her to be happy but with him, not with anybody else.

Meredith paused "I guess, I just got a dog, but I... I guess?" Meredith said knowing he wanted her, he wanted to be with her.

"Well that's good, that you got a dog I mean... it's good that you got a dog." Derek said hoping she couldn't see his vulnerability.

"Yeah his name is Doc" Meredith said now wiping the blood from his other hand.

Derek chuckled "You named your dog Doc?"

"Yeah... what's wrong with that?!" Meredith said smiling but mad.

"Nothing, nothing at all, I think it's cute actually." Derek said with a smile.

"Oh Ok" Meredith said looking up from what she was doing to see Derek's big smile. She missed waking up to him and his big smile.

"Derek are you lonely at the trailer?" Meredith said with a plan in mind.

"A little... why?" Derek said confused.

"Because their is no room at the house for Doc to run around and you have land, so I was thinking why cant Doc be our dog? I mean you would love him, he's a great dog and he does this thing in the mornings..."

"Meredith you want to share a dog with me."

"No I want to own a dog with you."

"Ok... I guess if it would give Doc a place to run, and if it would make you happy."

Meredith smiled now bandaging Derek's right hand as it was worse than the left one "I can bring him by say 8 tonight if you want?"

"Alright I can't wait." Derek said he was in pain from the fight but having Meredith take care of him calmed him down and almost made the pain go away. But Derek was going to have a rough night, seeing as earlier he could barely walk on his own from the pain. Meredith forgot all about her date with Finn that was at 8.

* * *

Addison walked into the room not knowing what she was going to find. She had been paged to an exam room by Callie and she was anxious to know why. She opened the door to find Mark swatting away Callie's hand who was trying to clean the cut on his face.

"Good you here, he won't let me touch him and he keeps saying he needs you so here you go." Callie said hanging the cloth bandage to Addison and walking out of the room

"What happened to you Mark?"

"Derek that's what he just..." Mark was interrupted by Addison.

"Don't tell me you got into a fight with Derek! I thought you wanted to make things right with him!"

"I did but I was flirting with one of the interns and he... he started it!"

"Mark don't be a five year old." Addison said mad "wait Mark which intern?"

"Dr. Grey... why?"

"Mark are you stupid, you were flirting with Meredith Grey! The Meredith Grey who he loves, the Meredith Grey who he left me for, what the Hell is wrong with you!" Addison shouted.

"Oh well excuse me I knew her first name not her last name!" Mark shouted back "Now can you please clean me up!"

"Fine..." Addison said mad taking his hand in hers and slowly bandaging it.

* * *

It was 8 and there was a knock at the front door, Meredith was wondering who it was as she got ready to go to Derek's, she was running late. Then she remembered her date with Finn.

"Shoot!" Meredith said as she ran down the stairs still in her scrubs getting Doc ready for Derek's.

She opened the door and Finn smiled.

"Why are you still in your scrubs?" Finn asked still smiling.

Meredith liked Finn he was sweet and charming so she had decided earlier that day that she would still go out with him, but after the big fight she totally forgot becuse she had Derek on the brain.

"Well I just got off work, and I was going to drop Doc off at a friends house for a couple of days."

"Ok... did you forget about our date? Its Ok if you did I mean you are a surgeon so..."

"No my friend just needs some company so I said they could borrow Doc for a few days." Meredith said not wanting Finn to know it was Derek that needed Doc, and that it was his dog now too.

"Ok well I can drive you and then we can go back to my place and I'll cook you dinner. Since you're still in your scrubs."

"No its Ok" Meredith said thinking about how Derek would react if he knew she was going out with someone other than him. He did not need that today. Plus he was in so much pain, he had two bruised ribs, his hands were a mess becuse of all the punching, and he had the worst looking bruises on his face, from Mark hitting him over and over. So this information... she could wait to tell him.

"How about I will go drop Doc off at my friends house and you can go start dinner at your place and I will meet you there?" Meredith said hoping he would agree to her plan.

"Alright" Finn said wondering why she didn't want to go with him. Finn lived in an apartment over the pet hospital so Meredith already knew where he lived but she hadn't seen his apartment yet.

"Ok I will see you in like 45 minutes." Meredith said smiling as Finn walked back to his car.

When Finn left Meredith got Doc and drove to the trailer. She did not know how she would find derek becuse he was in so much pain she thought he would be asleep.

Meredith knocked on the door of the trailer hoping she could leave quickly because Finn was waiting for her. But when Derek opened the door her heat skipped a beat, becuse he was smiling so big, she could tell he was in pain but he still had that McDreamy smile, and that made her heart stop.

"Hi" Derek said as he looked down at Doc.

"... Hi... " Meredith said with a studer "Ok so this is Doc, and I love him very much so do not do anything stupid." Meredith said with a playful smile looking into Derek's eyes.

"Ok" Derek said with a chuckle, which made his ribs hurt.

"Oh and this is the vet's number incase there is an emergency." Meredith handed Derek a card, Doc had a heart condition so if he had something going on the vet (Finn) would want them to bring him in so he could look at him.

"Ok thanks" Derek said taking Docs leash from Meredith's hand.

"Yep" Meredith said with a half smile.

Their was a pause and Derek and Meredith looked into eachothers eyes. Then finally Meredith broke the silence.

"Well I got to get going." Meredith said in a hurry breaking Derek's gaze into her eyes.

"Ok" Derek said as Meredith turned to leave

"Meredith..." Derek said with a huge smile. "Thank you... thank you for owning a dog with me."

"Your welcome" Meredith said with a smile. She loved making Derke happy.

"Ok well." Meredith said once again turning to leave.

"Drive safe." Derek said as she walked off the Deck.

* * *

Meredith showed up at Finns and he was getting ready to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"Change of plans, one of my clients horses just went into labor... I have to go birth a poney. So you probably want to..."

"I'm coming with you."

"You want to birth a poney with me?"

"Sure why not I've never birthed a poney before."

Finn chuckled "well its not exactly the ideal first date."

"Well to bad I'm coming with you." Meredith said trying to get her mind off of Derek by flirting with Finn.

"Ok then let's go" Finn said smiling.

* * *

4 hours later

Meredith and Finn just got back to Finn's place.

"Ok so the shower has shampoo and soap, the bathroom is the third door on the right, and I will leave one of my clean shirts for you while I wash yours. Oh and the towels are under the sink.

"Thanks." Meredith said smiling at him, walking toward the bathroom.

* * *

Meredith heard commotion downstairs in the clinic as she was putting Finns button up shirt on. As she walked down the stairs to see what was shoing on, she saw Derek with Doc and finn checking Doc out.

"I think he's going to be fine but I would like to keep him over night just to be sure." Finn said to Derek who look worried.

"Ok" Derek said

"Whats going on?" Meredith said as she was coming down the stairs.

"Well your friend Derek called and said Doc was having trouble breathing so I told him to bring Doc in."

"Why didn't you tell me he called?" Meredith said mad at Finn.

"Because you had just gotten in the shower and I didn't want to bother you."

Derek looked furious, he was clenching his fists which only made his hands hurt, but it kept him from doing anything he would regret.

"Meredith can I talk to you for a second." Derek said to Meredith, she could see the disappointment in his eyes and that he truly loved her.

They walked over to the door so that Finn couldn't hear them.

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question!" Meredith said with a little sass in her voice.

"I thought you needed some space." Derek said looking at her like she betrayed him.

"I do" Meredith said looking at her shoes. She wanted to be with Derek so bad but a part of her was just so scared that he would hurt her again.

"Well sleeping with Finn is not exactly what I pictured when you said you needed space. And I'm here because Doc was sick... so I called the vet."

"I did not sleep with Finn" Meredith said a little to loud becuse Finn looked at Meredith.

"Then why are you in his shirt!" Derek also said a little to loud becuse Finn then turned to them.

"We were going to go to dinner tonight but Meredith needed to drop Doc off at your place so she did but then one of my clients horses went into labor, so she helped me birth a horses. Because that is something she has always wanted to do." Finn said with a chuckle "And after that we came back here becuse we are both starving so I was going to make us dinner, But Meredith asked if she could take a shower, so I let her borrow one of my clean shirts because her clothes were covered in blood. So I am washing her cloths. That's why she is in my shirt. Why I have to explain that to you I don't know, but I will becuse you're one of Meredith's friends. And I like Meredith."

Meredith and Derek were just staring at Finn when their was a ding.

"Oh her clothes are dry." Finn said with a smile.

Before Meredith could say anything Derek turned toward the door.

"I will come pick Doc up after work tomorrow." Then Derek turned and walked out the front door.

"Well i'm going to go get dressed." Meredith said grabbing her clothes and going back up stairs.

"Ok" Finn said, taking a deep breath. He could see the chemistry between Derek and Meredith but he chose to ignore it.

* * *

The next morning Finn woke Meredith up with breakfast in bed. Finn slept on the couch and Meredith crashed in his bed, as it was late when they finally got done with dinner. It was Meredith's day off.

"Hey"Meredith said with a smile when seeing the food Finn had cooked her.

"Morning... now Meredith I am not going to ask what happened last night with Derek showing up like that and why he had Doc. But should I be worried." Finn said with a concerned look on his face.

"No" Meredith said confidently. "I don't know what got into him last night." Meredith was lying, if she would have been honest she would have said yes you should be worried, because he loves me and I love him, but she didn't want to ruin the morning.

"Ok well that brings me to the next thing... Meredith Doc is... he's really sick."

Meredith started welling up "What do you mean? Is he..." Meredith said trying to talk.

"I think he has a week at most" Finn said wrapping his arms around a now crying Meredith.

"Do you want me to call Derek?" Finn asked sincerely.

" No I will tell him." Meredith said wiping the tears from her face.

" I think I'm going to go into the hospital... you know work a little... get my mind off things."

"Ok... Meredith I'm sorry I can't do more for him." Finn said mad at himself.

"It's not your fault." Meredith said trying not to cry again. "I will come by later to see him."

"Ok" Finn said. "Do you need anything?" Finn asked.

"No I just need to go to work."

"Ok well I will see you later then."

"Yeah." Meredith said as she got out of bed, grabbed her keys and left.

* * *

Sorry it has been a while since I last updated, I have been busy getting ready for school, but I might have the next chapter up to tomorrow it just depends. Thanks for reading, and like always I would love reviews and suggestions. Hope you liked it! Thanks again. :)


	6. Chapter 6: Gone

**Chapter 6: Gone**

Meredith was scrubbing in with Bailey on a GSW to the abdomen. Meredith was in full surgery mode and so was Bailey. Then all of a sudden Bailey asked Meredith a weird question.

"So why are you here today Grey. It's your day off?"

"I just had nothing to do..." which was not true she had laundry and rest to catch up on "So I thought I would come in and work for a few hours." She said hoping Bailey would bye it not wanting to get into details.

"Ok" Bailey said not fully believing her.

"Why do you ask Dr. Bailey?"

"Just... usually when interns get a day off they are happy to be out of the work place."

"Well we interns are sergerie junkies, so I guess I just couldn't stay away."

"Alright then." Bailey said while pulling the bullet out of patient.

* * *

Ring ring... ring ring... ring ring

Derek's phone was going off as he was taking a power nap in the on call room, he woke up angrily and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi... is this Derek?" The voice on the other line asked.

"Yes... whos calling?" Derek asked sort of recognizing the voice.

"This is Finn, Docs vet. I tried calling meredith but she didn't pick up."

"Oh." Derek said wondering why Meredith wasn't answering her phone and then remembered she was scrubbing in with Bailey. "Actually I think she's in surgery."

"Ok well I didn't want to leave a message for this, so I thought maybe you could tell her or have her call me when she gets out of surgery?"

"Ok... whats going on is Doc Ok?"Derek said concerned.

"Actually no. This morning he was having trouble breathing, and I told Meredith he had about a week left, and she said she would tell you that but... um this afternoon he had a heart attack... and I could not resuscitate. Doc died at 1:06 this afternoon."

It was quiet on the line, Derek didn't know what to do. He was in shock. Why didn't Meredith tell him, it was their dog.

"Oh" Derek said to break the silence. All Derek could feel was pain in his gut, he would have to tell Meredith, he had to tell her and comfort her and make sure she was Ok and not let Finn do it. But he didn't know why she wouldn't tell him, but he had to forget that he had to put his sympathetic cap on and help Meredith get through this. Plus this is why she probably came it today, trying to get away from the pain, but Derek just had to help her and not think about what she didn't do and what she will do, she will be devastated he thought.

"Derek I can tell her if you want."

"No, I will." Derek said with no hesitation.

"Ok well Meredith was going to come by tonight to see him but... Yeah so I was wondering if you could tell her I called, and that I'm here if she needs me."

"Yeah... sure." Derek said still shocked

"Thanks." Finn said hoping Meredith would come to him and not find sympathy in Derek, but he was wishing for the impossible.

"Yeah no problem."

Derek hung up the phone and immediately went to the OR board to see what surgery Meredith was scrubbing in on.

* * *

" Do you think you could spare Dr. Grey for a moment" Derek said as he walked into the OR form the scrub room with a mask covering his soft lips.

"You can have her Dr. Shepherd I'm almost done here."

"But..." Meredith started to say.

"No buts Grey go with Dr. Shepherd."

Meredith was mad she was hoping Bailey would let her close but thanks to Derek she wouldn't even get a chance to ask. Derek followed Meredith into the scrub room and watched her scrub out, she had an angry look on her face.

"Meredith what's wrong?" Derek asked knowing the answer to why she was mad at him.

"I was going to ask if I could close but know thanks to you I can't becuse you needed me. So what do you want!"

"Meredith I pulled you out of surgery becuse... Finn called me."

"What... what happened... Derek is Doc Ok did something happen!" Meredith said panicked.

He liked that instead of calling him Dr. Shepherd she called him derek, she never did that at the hospital.

"We can't talk about it here." Derek said taking her by the hand and leading her to the nearby stairwell, before she had a chance to answer.

"Ok what's wrong with Doc?!" Meredith said hoping nothing.

"Meredith Finn has been trying to reach you since 1:15 this afternoon and he called me too tell me that Doc... Doc passed away." Derek said in a soft tone looking only at Meredith who was starting to cry.

Derek wrapped her in his arms and and stroked her hair, as Meredith cried into his scrubs.

"He's... He's really gone?" Meredith said through the sobs hoping Derek would say no that this was just a bad dream and she would wake up any minute.

"Yeah." Derek said with a soft tone just holding Meredith. He did not like seeing her sad and he hated seeing her cry.

After about 5 or so minutes of Meredith sobbing into Derek's scrub top Meredith finally started to calm down, with Derek still holding her of course, with him still stroking her hair.

"Derek... I dont... I dont think I can... I can't talk to Finn let alone look at him, so... so will you." Meredith said stuttering still trying to catch her breath as she was interrupted by Derek.

"I will do anything for you Meredith." Derek said tears in his eyes.

"Stay... I... just... don't leave me."

"Hey shhh it's Ok...Meredith I will never leave you again. I pick you... I choose you... I love you... I will never leave you ever again." Derek said tears streaked on his face.

* * *

I know its a short chapter but I will have the next one up tonight or tomorrow morning. Sorry I haven't updated in a couple of days I have been really busy with school and extracurriculars so I might not be updating as often BUT... I will try to update at least once every week. So stay tuned, also Finn is leaving SOON so stay tuned for that too, more MerDer to come! Hope you like it so far, thanks for reading, and like always review and I'm always open to suggestions. Thanks again for reading! :)


	7. Chapter 7: Worry

**Chapter 7: Complications**

3 Days Later:

Derek was in surgery and his pager was going off. One of the Nurses picked it up and said that it was the chief paging about Meredith Grey.

* * *

2 Days Before:

After work Derek had offered to spend the night incase she needed him after Doc died becuse he was the only person who could calm her down as she was still having a rough time during the nights. But Meredith was still with Finn so she told him to wait at the house and that she had to do something. Meredith got in her car and drove to Finn's house. When she got there she just sat in her car thinking about what she was going to tell him. She could barely look at him without crying becuse all she saw was a dying Doc that he couldn't save. But she finally got the courage to knock on the door. Finn opened the door and he was groggy so she thought he must have been sleeping.

"Meredith... are you Ok." Realizing who was at the door.

Meredith was holding back the tears. "I... I have to end this... your... your a great guy Finn... but whenever I... whenever I see you all I think about is... is Doc." Meredith said hoping he would understand.

"Ok" Is all Finn could say. After his wife had died he had never thought of being with another person, but he was with Meredith because she... she was the light in his Darkness.

"Finn I know you don't deserve someone who might cry everytime they look at you that's why I'm doing this. You're a great guy." Meredith said while looking at her shoes.

"Meredith... look at me." Finn said in a sad tone.

Meredith looked up into his eyes and all she could think about was Doc, his eyes were like poison, she started to cry and said "I'm sorry Finn" and kissed him on the cheek and then went back to her car and drove away back to the house.

* * *

Derek opened the front door when he heard Meredith trying to unlock it. Her eyes were red and she was in a hurry. George, Izzie and Alex were all dealing with Doc in their own way, Alex moved in with his "girlfriend", and George and Izzie were on call almost every night so it was just Derek and Meredith at the house. Meredith stopped rushing around and looked at Derek, starting to cry again.

"Hey what happened... are you Ok?" Derek said taking a step toward Meredith, but meredith fell to her knees and started sobbing uncontrollably.

"Doc...He's" Meredith said trying to speak.

"Hey shh it's Ok." Derek said sitting up against the house pulling Meredith into his arms just sitting there letting her cry into his shirt.

After Meredith calmed down Derek carried Meredith upstairs into the master bedroom and laid her down on the bed.

"Ok I will be on the couch if you need me." Derek said expressionless

"Derek... don't..." Meredith started to say as she was interrupted by Derek.

"Ok" He said walking over to the other side of the bed.

Meredith and Derek wernt together yet because Meredith had just broken up with Finn, but she needed him and he knew that. Derek thought she had just gone out for a drive and that's the way Meredith wanted it to stay for now, becuse her and Finn just broke up and she needed her best friend. As he got under the covers with Meredith she would not let go of him. He loved being so close to her. He could smell the lavender in her hair and he just wanted her to be with him forever.

"I love you Meredith." Derek said before he kissed her forehead.

"I love you too." Meredith said snuggling into Derek. Well the plan of not being with Derek ended fairly quickly.

Derek then realized that she had broken up with Finn that's what she had to do, she was his now. Derek loved her so much and he had waited for her and she had wanted him.

* * *

2 Days later:

 _Dr. Shepherd it's the chief paging about Meredith Grey_

"Ok call him and see what he wants" Derek said panicked as he had just started his first surgery for the day.

5 minutes later

"Dr. Shepherd the chief wanted to know if you knew where Meredith is." The nurse said in a calm voice.

"No I don't... why does he want to know?" Derek said panicked.

"Because she did not show up for her shift this morning."

Derek looked at the clock it was 9am he was going to be in surgery for another 7 or so hours, but he had to find Meredith.

"Page Dr. Nelson to come and take over and tell him that if he's not here in 10 minutes he will not get to see the inside of an OR for a month."

"Yes Doctor one of the nurses replied.

9 minutes later:

"You just made it Dr. Nelson. I was just about to keep you out of the OR for a month." Derek said quickly trying to hurry this along.

"Sorry Dr. Shepherd, what can I do?" He asked.

"Your taking over."

"But sir what are you doing."

"I'm going to go find Meredith Grey." Derek replied in a tone of harshness.

* * *

Derek went to Joe's, then the docks, and even the trailer before he went to her house. He wanted to believe that she would have tried to go to work and he didn't know what he would find when he got to her house.

When he got there he ran up and knocked on the door there was no answer, so he grabbed the spare key and went inside.

"Meredith!" He yelled as he ran around the downstairs looking for her. Then he ran upstairs.

"Meredith!"he shouted as he ran into her bedroom. Still no sign of her. But he was so busy looking for her he didn't hear that he shower was on until a few moments later. Their was a moment of relief that she was just in the shower but that only lasted a second.

He knocked on the bathroom door and there was no answer.

Derek opened the door to the bathroom and their Meredith was knocked out naked in the shower. Their was a cut on her head.

Derek immediately turned the water off, as he did he noticed how cold the water was, but the knob was turned all the way up. Derek thought to himself how long has the water been going.

He sat Meredith up and grabbed 3 towles from under the sink and wrapped her in them trying to warm her up. He did not know how long the cold water had been on her but she was freezing, her body was so cold that she was practically blue.

He wrapped his arms around her trying to warm her up as best he could. Then he noticed the cut on her head was still bleeding so he grabbed another towel from the cabinet and put pressure on her head. Then Meredith started to wake up.

"Derek?" She said in a confused raspy voice but relieved to see him.

"Hey I'm here." he said to make sure she knew it was him.

"What... What happened?" She said in a daze.

"I don't know I was in surgery and they told me you had not come in yet and I got worried, when I got here you were knocked out in here with the water going." Derek said hoping she would remember.

"Oh." Meredith said still a little dazed, she had also begun shivering.

"Are you Ok... Do you remember what happened?"

"Yeah I think so... I was getting in the shower as I heard George and Izzie say they were leaving in 5 minutes with or without me. So I started to hurry becuse I wanted to go with them, but then the warm air started to make me feel light headed... and then I think I fainted but I must have hit my head when I fell which knocked me out."

"How long ago were you getting in the shower?" Derek asked worried, he knew her head was Ok becuse she remembered what happened, but she was shaking really bad her skin had a blue glow to it and her body was as cold as snow.

"At 6:30 this morning why?"

"Because if you were under cold water that long your body temp."

"Is probably really low... close to oregon failure low."

"Yeah you're lucky I found you when I did." Derek said semi-relieved.

"I guess I am" Meredith's said shaking so bad that it hurt.

"I'm going to call Richard and tell him what happend, and get the rest of the day off Ok." Derek said standing up.

"Derek." Meredith said weakly still shivering. "Don't... don't... leave"

"Ok... I'm right here." He said looking down at her and then going back down on the floor to wrapp her in his arms once again, kissing her on the top of the head.

Meredith was still shivering and did not want to let go of Derek, the only place she felt safe was in his arms.

"Meredith do you want me to..." Derek started to say but hesitated, Derek wanted to get her some warm cloths but Meredith was wrapped around him so tight he didn't want to let her go. And he knew she would not let go. "Nevermind" Derek said knowing she was safe in his arms.

After 5 minutes went by of Derek holding Meredith in his arms Meredith finally was not shivering as much, but it had not stopped.

"Let's get you in some warm cloths" Drek said helping Meredith stand up.

"Derek" Meredith said on the verge of tears, her body was weak. "I can't... I can barly..."

"Ok" Derek said "Its Ok" as he picked her up and walked slowly over to the bed and sat her down.

Derek went over to her dresser and pulled out some sweatpants and her Dartmouth T-shirt. Then he helped her put them on seeing how weak she was made him worry, and he knew he would have to stay with her.

"You are Ok" Derek said as he helped her get under the covers of her big bed. "You are going to be fine, I am going to run downstairs and get the phone so I can call the chief."

"Derek..." Meredith started to say

"Hey its Ok Im just going to be gone for a second now just close your eyes and count to 5 and I will be right here when you open them Ok." When Derek's dad died when he was a kid his mom used to tell him to close his eyes for 5 seconds and you will see your dad, and that she would be right here when he got back from seeing his dad. It always helped him.

"Ok Meredith said closing her eyes."

Meredith was tired and she had had a rough morning but she just kept thinking about Derek, she loved him and she was so glad that he had found her.

Derek ran as fast as he could grabbed his cell phone from downstairs and sprinted back up the stairs, right when he stepped foot in Meredith room she opened her eyes. She had started shivering again, but her eyes they were fuller, usually there's an emptiness to her eyes, but Derek saw something in her eyes. It was him, he had saved her but what she didn't know was that she had saved him. But then Derek saw the tears on the corners or her eyes.

"Meredith... hey its Ok.. Im not leaving Ok." Derek said looking at Meredith.

He was worried because Meredith was super cold still, but also she was different she was afraid to be left alone. She had abandonment issues becuse of her mom but this was different it's like she was scared of something

"Let's get you under the covers." Derek said as he helped pull the covers up so the only thing you could see was Meredith face.

"Derek... can... you..."

"Yes... I can..."

And Derek crawled in the covers and wrapped his arms around a still shivering Meredith and just held her.

"I'm not going anywhere...I'm not leaving... I'm never leaving... I love you Meredith Grey.

Meredith was was thinking about Derek. She loved him too, and his soft voice was going to put her to sleep.

* * *

When Meredith finally fell asleep 10 minutes later Derek slowly got out of bed and went to go call the chief. As the phone was ringing Derek was thinking about Meredith.

"Hello?"

"Hi chief... Meredith Grey and I are going to need the next couple days off." After about 5 minutes of him explaining everything to Richard he hung up the phone. It took some convincing but he had managed to get Meredith and him the next 2 days off. When derek walked back into the bedroom, Meredith was sitting up with tears in her eyes clutching a pillow shivering again. When ever she was not under the covers she started shivering.

"Meredith what's wrong?"

"I... I thought... you left." She said trying to catch her breath.

"No I was just calling Richard... We got today and the next two days off."

"That's... good..." Meredith said shivering even more now.

"Hey... I told you... I'm not leaving. Now lets get back under the covers you're still freezing." Derek said getting back in bed.

* * *

George was the first one home that night Meredith and Derek were still in bed with Meredith asleep in Derek's arms. Her body wasn't as cold but she was still pretty cold, and shivering still whenever she emerged from under the blankets. George knocked on the door to Meredith bedroom.

"Come in" Derek said as quietly as he could trying not to wake Meredith.

George walked in and saw Meredith in Derek's arms.

"What happend she wasn't at work?" George said confused

"It's a long story O'Malley, right now I need you to go to the trailer, go in the far left cabinet and grab my pajama pants and T-shirt, and also 2 pairs of scrubs."

George just stood there wondering what happend, and why Derek needed all that.

"Why? Why can't you do it?"

"Because I'm going to be staying here for a while, and Meredith won't let me walk out of the room without thinking I'm leaving her." Derek said hoping George would just do it.

"I will explain more later but right now I need you to do that, can you do that O'mally?"

"Yeah.." George said as he turned around to walk out of the room.

George secretly thought Derek was a good person and that him and Meredith were good together so he liked that he was here to help Meredith.

* * *

When everyone got home, or came over since Christina and Alex don't live in the house, Meredith was still asleep in Derek's arms.

Alex, Izzie, Cristina, and George, who had brought the stuff Derek wanted, were all sitting in Meredith room.

"Ok so what happened with Meredith?" Izzie said looking at Meredith.

Derek told all of them the whole story, outside Meredith's room but still keeping an eye on her. Everyone was shocked, he ended the story by telling them what happend with the phone call to the chief, and how she had not let go of him since.

"That's why you had to get my cloths O'malley, Because she will freak out if I leave the room, he said standing in the doorway to her room looking at her sleeping.

"Hows her body temp?" Christina said breaking the silence, and not caring about the whole Derke thing.

"Um... its not great but its not horrible" Derek's said... remembering how her skin was so cold when he first found her. "I think it will be better in the morning." He said hopfull.

* * *

Meredith loved having Derek by her side throughout the night, he made her feel safe and its like he was protecting her in his sleep. Ever since Doc died Meredith had been having these nightmares about everything, or that's what she told Derek. She is really having them about Doc, and him. One night Meredith had a nightmare that scared her so much that she had to call him.

In the nightmare Derek tells her to wait for him at the house becuse he has a patient to check up on. But he never shows up and 2 hours go by and she dose not know where he is, and he told her he would be home in a half hour. So Meredith drives to the hospital, and finds that the chief is sitting in his office with his head in his hands crying. She walks in and starts talking to him but he just sits there finally he looks up.

"Chief have you seen Derek he said he had one last patient he had to check up on and then he would be home but that was and hour and a half ago?"

"Meredith Derek's in trauma room 3."

"Oh was their a bad accident and he's helping out?"

"No, he was T-boned by a semi on his way home... he died 10 minutes ago."

Then Meredith would wake up shaking thinking Derek is dead, but having him right next to her would immediately calm her down and she would just fall back to sleep, becuse she knew he was alive. She had been having that nightmare ever since Doc died, and she still hadn't told Derek. He just thought she was having a hard time with the whole Doc thing, but not that she was dreaming he was dead!" She didn't know what to do.

* * *

Thanks for all of the kind reviews I love hearing what you guys think. I hope you are liking it! I am making Meredith and Derek a little more vulnerable becuse in the show my favorite MerDer moments were always when they would comfort each other. So I'm doing a lot of that. But like always I would love reviews and suggestions. The next update probably won't be till this weekend but stay tuned more MerDer on the way! Also I don't know what to do with Mark and Addison so I would love some ideas on that or if I should continue writing about them or not. Thanks again for reading! :)


	8. Chapter 8: One Home

**Chapter 8: One Home**

Meredith and Derek had been off for a day, just cuddling on the couch watching movies, not really talking. Meredith still hadn't told Derek about the Nightmares. She wanted to but every time Derek left the room she got this weird feeling, like if she told him what she was dreaming would happen or something. So she was thinking about telling him, but then she would sike herself out and tell herself that he could not do anything about it. That it was her mind making it up. But deep down she knew he could, and would help her if she told him about it. Then she would tell herself that he would freak out and leave her if she told him becuse it was an unreasonable nightmare, and the cycle would start all over. She was glad he was with her though becuse sometime she would get this wave of cold that would make her body start shaking uncontrollably, and well he would help stop the shaking by holding her. Then she would doze off in his arms. Meredith was lucky to have Derek.

* * *

 _"Chief have you seen Derek he said he had one last patient he had to check up on and then he would be home but that was and hour and a half ago?"_

 _"Meredith Derek's in trauma room 3."_

 _"Oh was their a bad accident and he's helping out?"_

 _"Yes... and No, Meredith... he was T-boned by a semi on his way home... he died 10 minutes ago."_

"But I just saw him 2 hours ago... he said... he... I" Meredith said looking through trauma room 3, to see Derek laying in a hospital bed, inhibited no heartbeat on the monitor. Tears running down her cheeks.

"Meredith... this was in his jacket pocket." the chief said handing Meredith an envelope addressed to her.

Meredith took the envelope from him and walked slowly into the trauma room where the love of her life lay dead. She couldn't bring herself to open the envelope until she sat down next to him and held his hand. In the envelope was a letter.

 _Dear Meredith,_

 _I am so lucky to have met you. You are my everything, and I would not change that. I have found that I love you more and more everyday, and I know that will never change. There are moments... moments that in a split second your life changes forever, and before you know it... you're somewhere else. I realize now I did not truly love Addison. You, you are my true love and that will never change. Meredith before I met you I thought that my life was never going to change that I would love Addison for the rest of my life but I now believe that if you cannot be as happy as I am with you. Than you did not find the right person to spend the rest of your life with. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You are my light in the darkness, my breath of fresh air, and I would not trade you for the world. I will never leave you, I will be by your side through everything, as long as you let me. I love you Meredith Grey._

 _Love Derek_

Meredith squeezed his hand, put her head on the bed and started crying. She couldn't catch her breath.

* * *

Meredith was awoken by Derek.

"Meredith... Meredith!"

"What happend?" Meredith said confused to why he had woken her up.

"You were crying in your sleep." Derek said with a concerned look in eyes.

"I'm fine" Meredith said looking around the room knowing exactly why she was crying in her sleep. That nightmare was so clear so vivid it felt so real.

"Meredith is there something going on?" Their was a pause " I know that it was a traumatic thing with the whole shower thing, but why are you crying in your sleep?"

"I... I was... It was a dream ok." Meredith said hoping they could drop the subject.

"Meredith if something is going on... you can tell me, you can tell me anything."

Their was a pause, Meredith was looking at the sheets thinking about if she should tell him or not.

Then she started crying.

"I keep... having this... nightmare... and it's... it's so real. It feels like... like it's real, and... and I don't know what I would do if it was real." She said hoping he wouldn't ask about the details or what it was about, becuse she was not ready to tell him.

"Ok... Meredith..." Derek started to say.

"Derek I really don't want to talk about it right now." Meredith said interrupting him.

"Ok" Derek said a little hurt "Meredith I'm here when you are ready to talk about it Ok."

"I know" Meredith said giving him a half smile.

"Derek"

Derek looked at her with his piercing blue eyes.

"Thank you... for being here for me."

"I love you Meredith."

"I love you too" Meredith said so naturally it felt right to say that to him.

* * *

Meredith and Derek's mini vacation was a good thing Derek had spent two full days, just watching movies with Meredith, and he loved it. But he was excited to get back to work. Plus he had a neuro department to run, he just hoped Dr. Nelson didn't screw anything up. Meredith was also excited to get back to work, and she was glad that her and Derek were going back together. She was hoping she would be on Derek's service because she loved working with Derek, but she was also interested in Neuro for her specialty. But she was keeping it on the down low because she didn't want Derek to know. Basicly anything but general. But that was the least of her problems. Derek still didn't know about the nightmares and she was going to tell him but every time she was about too the phone would ring, or it wouldn't be a good time, and so Meredith didn't know what to do. Meredith wanted to tell him she just didn't know how.

* * *

"Dr. Grey I'm glad your back." Mark said to Meredith as he walked up to the nurses station grabbing a chart.

"Thanks." Meredith said as she closed the chart she had been reading and began to walk away.

"Wait." Mark said taking a step toward her.

"I just wanted to apologise for what I said to Derek during the fight. I was mad and riled up and I didn't want to say any of that. I just... I guess I wanted to hurt him... and I will regret that for the rest of my life. I understand if you never want to talk to me again I just wanted to say... I'm sorry." Mark said sincerely.

"Ok" Meredith said as their was a pause as Mark went back to reading the chart that was open in front of him.

"Did you mean it thought?" Meredith said looking at him wondering if he thought what he said was true, that it was her fault that Addison and Derek got a divorce.

"No, I was... I was stupid to say that... becuse... this whole thing is my fault. It has been from the start, even before Derek met you. And I'm glad he is happy I just want my friend back." Mark said trying to keep it together.

Meredith just looked at Mark she was wondering what Derek would think of this conversation, Mark telling her the fight was all his fault, that all of this was his fault. But then Meredith started to wonder why Derek punched Mark in the first place becuse Mark was just flirting with her, and Derek wasn't even with her at the time.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what I said, and you can tell Derek I won't bother you or him ever again" Mark said sadly.

"Mark don't give up on Derek I think eventually everything will work itself out." Meredith said trying to be somewhat optimistic, as she turned and walked away.

* * *

Derek was working late, but so was Meredith so he was Ok with staying at the hospital. It was their first day/night back, so he had requested Meredith to be on his service and so she was. Derek was taking a power nap in an on call room, when Meredith quietly came in and snuggled up beside him.

"Derek" Meredith said softly trying to wake him up like he wakes her up.

"mmm" Derek mumbled not wanting to open his eyes.

"Derek" Meredith said a little louder

"What" Derek said opening his eyes to see Meredith right in front of him snuggled into his chest.

"I have something to ask you" Meredith said a little worried of what his reaction might be.

"Ok... what" Derek said perking up a bit worried of what she wanted to ask him."

"Why did you fight Mark? That day, he was just flirting with me and... and we weren't even together. So why... why did you fight him?" Meredith asked almost in tears.

Their was a pause as Derek searched his mind for the right words... the right thing to say. Not what Meredith wanted to hear but what he needed to tell her.

" I fought Mark becuse... because it was about damn time. He slept with Addison, he was my best friend and he broke my marriage, and on top of that I felt like if he flirted with you... or even talked to you... that he would break us... or I don't know, tell you something about me that would make you not want to get back together with me, or... or destroy me again. But I was tired of him... tired of him running everything good in my life. Like it was his choice if I was happy or not. I fought with him because I didn't want him to break you like he did me. Even if he was just flirting with you... and even if we weren't together... I would never put you through that pain. I love you too much." Derek said, tears in his eyes now sitting on the bed in the on call room next to Meredith. Derek thought if he opened up a little bit that maybe Meredith would too.

"Derek... he will never break me, as long as I have you I will never be broken, as long as I have you I will be Ok." Meredith said looking into Derek's beautiful blue eyes and kissing him on the cheek. "In fact Mark just apologised for what he said during the fight."

"He talked to you!" Derek yelled not paying attention to the apology part.

"Yes but he was only saying he was sorry." Meredith said trying to get him to calm down.

"Derek I know it's been a long road with him, and I get it it's hard for you to talk to Mark. But he was your best friend... think about that." Meredith said getting up to leave.

Derek sat their and thought about what she said, Derek was not ready to talk to Mark, he might kill him if he did. He needed time.

* * *

Meredith went home early that morning, her and Derek were on call all night, and she was exhausted. She had to ld Derek to go home, so he went back to the trailer pouting becuse he wanted to got with her, and he was a little scared of leaving her alone. But Meredith just wanted to go home and take a bath.

Meredith fell asleep in the tub, and she had the nightmare again. She was hyperventilating she was crying so hard. Everytime she had it, it felt real. Like it was the most clear, most vivid thing that had ever happend to her. And every time she awoke from it she would start crying if Derek wasn't right next to her. So she got out of the tub and called Derek.

"Hello?"

"Derek..." A quivering Meredith said on the other line.

"Meredith!? What happend are you hurt?!" Derek was panicking. He had just fallen asleep when the phone rang. He wasn't going to answer it bu then he saw who it was and he picked up.

"I'm... just... come... please come!" Meredith said tears still streaming down her face.

Derek jumped out of bed, and grabbed his keys "On my way!" He said.

"Don't... don't hang up" Meredith said.

"Ok" Derek said putting the phone in the center console cup holder of his car."

Derek was still in his pajamas, but he didn't care. He spread all the way to Meredith's house. Meredith had managed to get dressed before he got their. The door was unlocked when Derek went inside, it was quiet. Kinda like the day when Derek found Meredith in the shower. He walked upstairs, knowing if he ran like he wanted to, she would know he was worried about her. But half way up he gave up that theory and took the steps two at a time now jogging the last couple. When he finally got to the top he went over to the master bedroom, the door was shut. He put his hand on the door knob. He paused thinking about Meredith. When he opened the door he just stood in the doorway. Staring at what seemed to him like a crime scene. The women that he loved the victim. Their was a towel on the floor along with a few pieces of clothing, there was Meredith. Her knees up to her chest hugging the pillow that Derek usually sleeps on, with tear spots on her shirt. Derek just looked at her for a few moments. Her eyes were closed so tight it was like she was trying to cut the world out of her mind. Derek didn't know what was going on with her. He wished she would talk to him.

"Meredith?"

Meredith instantly looked up to him meeting his gaze at the sound of his voice. She had tears in her eyes.

"Derek!?"

Derek was sad, scared, worried, confused, and wanted to throw up all at the same time. She said his name like she was surprised to see him.

"Derek! You're... you're alive!" Meredith said crying.

Their was a pause Derek had to gather himself, she thought he was dead! All Derek could say was not what he planned on telling her.

"Meredith I was never dead." Derek said with tears in his eyes.

"You never... you didn't... you weren't T-boned by a semi?" Meredith said confused between reality and what her mind was making up.

"No?" Derek said confused but also trying to reassure her everything was fine.

"Meredith." Derek said walking toward the bed. "I was never T-boned by a semi, I never died I'm right here." He said taking a few more steps toward her until he was right in front of the bed.

"Thank God!" Meredith said throwing the pillow to the side and wrapping her arms around Derek. Smelling his cologne, feeling his warmth, and running her fingers through his hair, knowing he was with her.

"Meredith I'm right here" Derek said with silent tears running down his face.

For the next few minutes Derek just held Meredith in his arms.

"Meredith... have you been dreaming I'm dead?" Derek said breaking the silence.

"Yes" Meredith said shamefully

"Meredith How long have you been dreaming I was dead... and why didn't you tell me?" Derek said upset.

"When it first happend was when Doc died, and... every time it happens it feels real... so real... and I... I" Meredith started to cry. "I... I can't lose you!" Meredith said tears running down her cheeks.

Derek looked at her, he gave her a sad smile "you should have told me Meredith."

"I know... It's just... everytime I wanted to tell you... we got interrupted or it wasn't a good time.

"Meredith I love you too much to ever die on you."

Meredith looked at him while wiping the tears from her cheeks. Their was a pause.

"Meredith we should move in together." Derek blurted out.

Meredith just looked at him.

"Come on what do you think I need you and you obviously need me plus I already sleep over almost every night?" Derek said hoping she would say yes.

"Yes" Meredith said with no hesitation hugging him.

* * *

I hope you guys like this chapter, when I started writing I was a little lost on where I was going to go with this chapter but it turned out well. Sorry I haven't updated as often as when I first started this story, school has been crazy and then I have volleyball after school everyday which is crazy so I don't have much time to write. But my goal is to update on the weekends so if I don't post next weekend it will definitely be the weekend after that. But I hope you guys are enjoying it. I have a lot more in store for this story! I cant wait to share! So stay tuned. Thanks for reading, and like always I would love to hear you thoughts and some suggestions! :)


	9. Chapter 9: Parents

**Chapter 9: Parents**

Meredith stopped having the dreams of Derek dying after he moved in. Derek was with her at work and at home and she honestly loved it! She had never felt this close to one person before, not even her mother. Meredith and Derek still had a lot to learn about each other. No one not even Derek knew about her mother, every time she would go visit her she would tell Derek she was going for a drive, or to Christinas.

It was Meredith's day off from the hospital and she was going to visit her mother. She always went to see her mother on her day off becuse she didn't have to deal with the stress of work and her mother at the same time. She hated going to see her mother, it was hard for her to see how much her mother had changed form that confident surgeon she grew up with to a woman who had no idea who her daughter was. She sometimes couldn't bare it. Sometimes she would go and visit her and she would talk about Meredith as if she was still a kid and she was proud of her, proud of all she is. But other times she would say how "ordinary" and disappointed she was in Meredith for everything that she's done, and the worst part of all of this was she could not tell a single soul what she went through once a week with her mother. Because she didn't want anyone to know. It tore Meredith apart to have to lie to Richard and all the people at the hospital. She wanted to tell them, that her mother was not in Europe, that her mother was not writing another book, that her mother was not practicing, but that her mother was in a home becuse she had Alzheimer's. But every time she would say she was going to tell everyone she would see her mother in her head making her promise to tell no one and then she would lose all courage and not say anything. "She only wanted you to know, not Thature, not Richard, and definitely not the hospital." She would say to herself. But she could not keep it to herself for much longer. She was tired of lying and tired of the guilt and she could no longer do it alone. Her mother was worsening and the stress was killing Meredith. She wanted to tell someone but she couldn't.

"How is she today?" Meredith asked as she walked up to one of the nurses that helped her mother.

"Not bad actually, you picked a good day to come."

Meredith was glad. She walked into the sitting room that her mother was in. She always sat in the same spot.

"Hey mom" Meredith said sitting down in the chair across from her.

Ellis just looks at Meredith with a blank stare.

"Mom?" Meredith said trying to get her attention.

She turned and looked at Meredith with a confused look.

"You remind me of my daughter. She comes and visits me sometimes... I hope she's doing Ok, I haven't seen her in a while. Do you know her? Her name is Meredith."

Meredith just looked at her mom with tears in her eyes, she did not know whether she was crying becuse her mother didn't recognize her or that her mother missed her, maybe it was a combination of both.

"Yes I do know Meredith... She wanted me to tell you that she's an Intern at Seattle Grace hospital, training to be a surgeon just like you. She also wanted me to tell you that she loves you very much and misses you and says not to worry about her that she's doing just fine."

"Oh good, thats wonderful!" Ellis said going back to staring into nothing.

* * *

Meredith started her drive home. When her phone began to ring.

"Hello?"

"Meredith..."

"Yeah whats up cheif, its my day off."

"Meredith we need to talk about something and I need to tell you in person."

"But chief can't it wait for tomorrow?"

"No we need to talk today, you need to come to the hospital."

"Chief what is this about?"

"It's about your father."

* * *

Derek was in the ER when he thought he saw Meredith get into the elevator. But when he was about to walk over to see if it was her, Alex needed him for a consult. Meredith had told Derek she was not coming in to the hospital today and that she was just going to go to Chirstinas. After Derek's consult he wanted to make sure that wasn't her, so he tried calling Meredith cell but it went straight to voicemail. So he tried Christina.

"Is Meredith with you?" Derek said as soon as the Christina picked up.

"No, and hello to you too." Christina said.

Derek hung up.

* * *

Meredith walked up to the chief's office from the ER, not knowing what to expect. She had not seen or talked to her father in years. She knocked on the door, when she entered the chief's office, he told her to sit down and gave her some water.

"Now Meredith I know you probably don't care about your father, and I know that you probably hate that I made you come in on your day off, but I wanted to tell tell you this in person."

Their was a pause Meredith look at Richard with a furious look. She did not want to be at the hospital, let alone talk about her father. She could not handle all of this parental drama in one day epically her day off.

"What about my father Richard, I haven't seen him in years."

"Well that is about to change." He said looking at Meredith with a serious expression.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Meredith as I told you on the phone your father... well Molly his daughter is pregnant, and the baby is in distress so Addison will be working on her, and you are on Addison's service. Now I wanted to ask you if their is going to be an issue working near your father, and on his daughter? Because I can always..." Richard was interrupted.

"Richard... stop... just stop... you don't get to protect me, you are not my father... and I don't want you to treat me like I'm your daughter! I am doing my job, helping people is my job, our job, and questioning my medical ability, and preference based on personal reasons, is fatherly and unprofessional. No I will not have a problem working on Molly or around my father... I'll be fine."

"Ok I will expect that you have no issues and that you are not distracted. Meredith you have a privilege getting to work with Addison even if she is Derek's ex-wife, so if you can't handle it then I'm pulling you off Addison's service, so I hope you don't screw this up." Richard said in his chief voice, instead of his I'm sorry I practically ruined your life voice that he uses with Meredith way to much.

Meredith just nods and stands up to walk out. She wants to show the chief that it doesn't matter who the patient is she can help them and put personal feelings aside. But Meredith is second guessing the decision. "What if I can't face my father." She thinks to herself. But she needs to do this to prove to the chief that he does not need to protect her so she stands up and walks out.

* * *

Derek was wondering why Meredith would even be at the hospital if that was her. He started going around asking if people had seen her and a couple of nurses said they saw her walking to the chief's office. "Of course!" he thought. "Of course the chief would call her in on her day off." Derek was furious, the one day Meredith got away from the hospital she had to come in because the chief "needed her."

Derek stood in the elevator thinking about what he was going to say to the chief, but he was so focused he didn't realize that he was standing next to Molly and Thature. When the elevator stopped he got off and went straight to the chief's office, and didn't bother to knock. Richard looked up from his papers that he was reading and gave Derek a look like "I knew you were going to come here but I wish you hadn't."

"Why did you call Meredith in today, it's the one day Meredith gets off from the hospital and whatever you had to tell her couldn't wait till tomorrow? She is getting overwhelmed with work and I wanted her for one day to not have to come here and just relax, so why did you call her in!"

"I don't think it's my place to tell you why I called her in today." Richard said looking at Derek with a serious face.

"Richard... why did you call her in!" Derek said with his ice blue eyes turning to fire.

"I thought Meredith should know that her half sister is pregnant, and her... her father, his wife and their other daughter will be around the hospital for a while. I wanted her to be prepared. I wanted her to know what she is getting herself into.. becuse she is on Addison's service."

"Did Addison request her!?"

"Yes she said something about getting to know the woman her ex-husband is going to end up marrying." Richard said making a protective face. He liked Meredith and he liked Derek but he was not to fond of Meredith and Derek.

Their was a pause, Derek staring at his shoes, he was thinking about what the chief said about Meredith's father being at the hospital with his other family.

"Derek I don't know Meredith has told you anything about her father but... I know this can't be easy on her. She hasn't seen him in so long." Richard said noticing Derek's thinking face.

"Where is she now?" Derek said looking up from the ground.

"I don't know she didn't say anything before she left." The chief said.

Derek walked out without saying anything else. He had to find her and make sure she was Ok.

* * *

Derek stood in the lobby of the hospital, trying to think of what Meredith would do. He tried calling her one more time it went straight to voicemail. "Come on Mer pick up." Derek said looking around the lobby of Seattle Grace hoping she would be their. But she wasn't, she was not in the lobby. Derek was in panic mode now. Ever since the accident he worries about her a lot more. "Where would she go?" Derek whispered under his breath.

* * *

After Meredith left the chief's office she was overwhelmed. This is not how she expected this day to go. First her mother who she deals with on a weekly basis, but now her father for who knows how long. She just wanted her father to stay away like he had all these years. Meredith got in her car and drove, she wanted to go home but didn't, she went to the one place that she loved more than home. The docs, where the ferry boats are. The docs reminded Meredith of Derek and she loves the docs becuse through all the chaos it is calm and she can just watch the water. Meredith's mind was flooded with thoughts about her mom and dad, and she wanted them to go away.

* * *

Derek was in his car driving to the one place he hadn't checked yet, he had been to Joe's and the house, he even called Christina again. Their was one last place that he knew she would go. The docs, where their second date was. He pulled into a parking spot, quickly got out of the car, and walked over to the bench where Meredith was sitting. He found her. He stood a few feet behind the bench where she was. He wanted to help her but he felt helpless because he didn't know the whole story with Meredith and her dad.

"Meredith?" Derek said hoping she would turn around. She did. "Meredith why did you not tell me Richard called and that you were coming into the hospital? Why did you lie and say all you were going to do today was go to Christina's?"Derek asked sadly

Their was a pause.

"My father... he has two other daughters and a wife. My father, the one who didn't fight for me and my mother. He got remarried, and I have two half sisters, and they probably don't even know I exist. I shouldn't be surprised that he has another family, but why would... why would he just leave me and my mother just to get remarried and have more kids. I just... I just want to know why he left me and my mother without a fight, and for them... were we not good enough for him, did he hate me. What did I do to... to make him not want to atleast try to stay with us?" Meredith said tears streaming down her face.

Derek was not upset with her anymore becuse he new this was affecting her more than he thought. He hated seeing Meredith so upset over something, he walked over to the bench, and sat down next to Meredith. He grabbed both of her hands ad looked in her eyes.

"Meredith Grey anyone who leaves you, anyone who has left you... there is no good reason. I can't tell you why your father didn't fight for you and your mother, but I can say this. As long as I am on this Earth...as long as I am still breathing...as long as I am still Derek Shepherd...I will never leave you, and I will always fight for you. I can't tell you why he left without a fight, but I can tell you that he was stupid to leave you."

Meredith started crying harder. Derek pulled her to his chest and stroked her hair, while she cried. He had no idea what Meredith was going through with her father. But he knew Meredith had probably been asking these questions ever since her father left. It tore him apart to think she had this side to her that just wants to know why he left.

All Meredith could think about was the fact that her father, his two daughters and his wife are going to be at the hospital for the next, however long they are their and her mother and how she is getting worse, and how Richard is treating her like his daughter becuse he feels guilty for not being their for her when Thature left when she was 5.

"Derek" Meredith said taking her head off his chest and looking at him, only him. "Derek I told you I was going to see Christinas becuse... becuse I was going to see my mother... she has Alzheimer's."

* * *

I am soooooooooo sorry I haven't updated in forever, and I hope you can forgive me, but I was super busy with school, and volleyball. But know volleyball is over so I will be writing a lot more! And hopefully you guys are still liking it. Like always I would love to hear you thoughts and some suggestions! Thanks again for reading! :)


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